Post 5

This job is nothing like expected. Me and Jeremiah have been left out to dry with this program. The girls are like nothing I expected. They are all unique, some our loud, some are rude without knowing it, one is quiet, one just wants to always get here way, one likes to pretend she is perfect as if she can save everyone else. Huh. It's been overwhelming and stressful especially feeling as though I have no support. Yesterday I kinda quit. I went up to the Director's wife and told her she might need to look for another person. I don't know if I am reaching the girls. I feel like I am missing out on something. This is hard. I think for the first time in a very long time I was mad at God. I came into this knowing that I had to trust Him with everything but feeling as though I had no guidance. I felt like my four years of ministry went down the drain and didn't help me at all. I feel like each day is a roller coaster. In my mind at times I thinking I hate this and other times I feel like things are going well. I feel like other people are reaching my girls more than me. I don't know if they trust me yet and I don't know how to get that trust. I just feel as though someone more energetic and I don't know someone else can do this better. This is frustrating and it's almost a week. It's not all the time the things he does but just the system is jinked up. I think I will need a break in a couple days or I will go crazy. It's not like they are bad girls but weww. It's totally different than I thought and Jeremiah and I are starting this program from scratch. Now since I said I didn't want to really be here the wife's director is on my behind and I hate that. " How are you doing? How about now are you liking it now? But it has turned out to be something good. Now I have someone I can express my frustrations to. But I know God wants to teach me something. I don't know what's at the end of the summer yes a pay check thank God but I know there is something better. My biggest defeat is going to be what's going on in my head. I got past all this spiritual warfare and all these demons in cabins and things like that but I know that's how the enemy is going to get me.
Few days later:
I have an excellent week. I finally feel like God is working with in and me and He is really working in the lives of these Youth. I had a great night where I spoke affirmation into the girls lives and they ended up speaking affirmation into mines.

Spiritual Reflection: Through this experience God has really shown me how big and mighty He is. I can honestly say that I would do and give up anything to be a follow of Jesus Christ. I know that I need to keep the faith and remain steadfast as I serve the Lord. God is so good !